Alright, so I know. It’s been almost 3 weeks, and I said I’d start doing them regularly, but you know real life is evil. Now, I’m going to do a mega one, to not oversaturate your feeds/reading materials. I’m watching these back-to-back-to-back and writing as each episode ends, so I don’t know what happens later on.
Anyway, let’s start with episode 3.
We start with Shinon [Real name Asada Shino (note: craving some Asada Fries right about now)] getting out of class and walking home. Once in the city she get’s called over by, quite frankly, a stereotypical slutty Japanese voice. In an alleyway 3 other ladies (and I use the term VERY loosely) try to hustle our leading lady for some cash, ¥10,000 to be exact (about $100USD), Shinon says no, and then the leading bully makes a gun motion with her hand (like that old loser sign we used to throw, but sideways. Wait, you should know this, why am I explaining?) And Shinon goes into full blown panic. Like, backs away and shivers in fear. Y’know, standard panic attack.
Before I continue, I feel like I should mention this. I don’t suffer from panic attacks, but I do feel that that’s more of a nervous gesture. If you feel like educating me a bit on the subject, feel free to do so, either here in the comments, or on my personal tumblr or twitter, both located at jaqc13.
Lead bully grabs her bag but a dude comes in calling the cops (he didn’t really, just called to drive them off). Turns out the dude is Shinon’s friend, and the one that turned her into GGO. After making some advances on
MY WAIFU Shinon, she leaves and heads home (locked with a standard lock, key, and keypad at her door). Once inside, she decides to go for a little gun shaped object in her dresser (I don’t know if it WAS a gun, it looked too slim to be one). As soon as she picks it up, she panics and goes into flashback mode.
As it turns out, when Shinon was young, like… really young, she killed a dude. There WERE extenuating circumstances, mainly that he was robbing a bank (or a check exchange thing, somewhere that apparently has money) and he threatened to kill her mom/killed a clerk. She bit him, took the gun and shot him in the liver, shoulder, and head. And then her mom gave her this look of just… like terror, or disgust. One or the other. And then she notices what actually happened and just goes mental.
End flashback. So it all makes sense, she killed a dude and got PTSD, basic and straight forward. Not cool that they made the mom be unable to accept it, but whatever. Anyway, she snaps out of it and pukes, grabs a tissue and picks up the gun. Now, I don’t know HOW this works, but it doesn’t seem plausible to me. She KNOWS it’s a gun, why can she pick it up? Either way, she asks for someone to save her. And guess what?
Dramatic cut to Kirito. Who can drive a motorcycle. What. He’s like… 12. Ok, I looked it up. He’s 17 now. Alright, plausible. Cut to his conversation with Asuna, he’s doing it. He’s going in to try to find Death Gun. Against all forms of common sense, but whatever. PLOT! He heads over to a hospital where he meets, frankly, a nurse I’d LOVE to have. But considering he’s 17, she’s being a pedophile (she grabs his butt and mentions having seen his junk) Kirito hooks up to the Amusphere (is it an Amusphere? Or is it something newer?) And LINK START!
Cut back to Shinon. Quick exposition, she can’t see a gun without going into a panic attack, so she goes into GGO to do a sort of immersion therapy, deciding that when her character is the best, she’ll probably be better. Put on the Amusphere, and LINK START!
So ends episode 3. I’m OK with it since it was exposition, but last episode was PURE action, so I’ll take it. ON TO EPISODE 4!
Aaaaand Kirito is a chick. I know, I should’ve seen in coming, it’s in the damn intro. Ok, well it turns out its a rare as all hell avatar, the “M-9000”, which makes him LOOK like a girl. And he’s catfishing. Granted, it IS on Shinon (who he ran into totally randomly by the way) so I don’t think it’s REALLY catfishing. Kirito asks Shinon to take him to a store and the General Governor’s Office (to register for Battle of Bullets, a competition to get Death Gun to notice Kirito)
Once at the store, Shinon explains a lot of things about the game, like the gun types and certain aspects about the game, like shields and, a bit later, the reticle system. Turns out Kirito doesn’t actually have much money (1,000… credits?) and, lookie here, convenient machine that pays out if you touch the bad cowboy (who speak in english in the original japanese). And no one has managed to do it. Three guesses what Kirito does, first three don’t count.
Walking away with about 300,000, Kirito looks around, takes a look at the guns, gets some advice from Shinon on different varieties, calibers, and what’s best. Shinon recommends a heavy assault rifle. And, you know, Kirito is reasonable, he makes good decisions, he SURELY won’t bring a knife to a gun fight. And he doesn’t! He get’s a lightsaber. I’m serious, it sounds like a lightsaber. Officially called a “photon sword”, you need to be at point-blank range. But of course, with SWORD Art Online and Alfheim Online, swords are Kiritos specialty. Although, considering it costs about 150,000, it’d better be REALLY good. He DOES pick up a pistol, to distract his opponents while he closes in, but still.
The duo leave the shop and realize they’re almost late for registration for BoB, so Kirito grabs a buggie (which almost no one can handle, either) and drives them towards the GG’s office. Roll credits.
I understand that this is SWORD Art Online, but come on. Using a sword in a world controlled by guns? I don’t think it’s a good idea, but hey. He’s the hero. Sorry if I sound salty, I just had some vinegar. Also, it annoys me that he picked a sword over a gun. Seriously. ON TO EPISODE 5
First half of the episode is pretty slow, they get to the place and register just in time. As they go into the waiting room for the tournament, Sinon (I’ve been spelling that wrong apparently) mentions everyone in the room is an idiot by showing their weapons. I’m inclined to agree (not biased at all, mn-mm). Then she takes him to the dressing room. Mmm-hmm, she starts changing and Kirito (bless the boy, really) get’s a glimpse. Now, here’s the thing, I don’t know why she got embarased, this is a virtual body. Wait. No, there were body calibrations mentioned in the first season, so that might actually be her. Ah well.
Sinon gets mad (understandably) and pledges to kill Kirito in the finals. She also says she’ll kill the strongest players, making Kirito suspect her. Sinon’s dude friend from episode 3 comes in, he says he’s watching, so that’s a thing. And so they get teleported to their fights.
Kirito fights a dude in a sort of jungle terrain. He, very smartly, finds cover immediately, but his opponent has an assault rifle and flanked him, so he gets hit a couple of times before he actually recovers. Taking cover behind a column, Kirito realizes he can block bullets with his sword. Now, this is a standard feature in games like that, you have a sword? You can sometimes block bullets. Kirito makes it look like child’s play (the animation makes it look harder, but still). In the end, Kirito closes in and kills his opponent.
Now, a note. The sword drains HP at a set rate instead of just instakilling, which I think is a good balancing mechanic. That, to me, means that later on someone is going to get stabbed, but manage to run away.
Once Kirito wins, he get’s teleported back to the waiting room. And Death Gun appears. After asking Kirito some questions, mostly about his name, Kirito figures out that Death Gun is an SAO Survivor. And he was in the Player Killer guild, The Laughing Coffins. Episode end.
I like this episode, really. Action, story, and plot development. Also a bit of drama there at the end. The fact that, even about a year later, there’s still some crazy people from SAO doing evil. Keeps the tension and remembers the past
Now, I watched all 3 episodes in quick succession, and I do sound salty (I’m cleaning this up the day after). I want to make it clear that I LIKE SAO, I just feel the need to point out the flaws. Like I said earlier, if you want to discuss this with me, feel free to do so in the comments below, or my twitter/tumblr @jaqc13.